In The Moment

Sometimes I have a hard time staying in the moment and paying attention to what's in front of me.

My mind is often pulled in a hundred different directions.

Most moments are fleeting, they only last a second or two, 

and we can miss so many when we aren't paying attention.

The interesting thing is,
my mind is the only thing that tries to bring to life what isn't there.  

What doesn't need my attention.

I have a way to help me stay present, in addition to sitting on the cushion. 

Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's easy.  All I have to do is remember.

When I'm watching Z and Bodhi play, a smile pass their lips, my name being called, 

I can center myself by meditating on what's in front of me.  

I can breathe in and out and say to myself or aloud, especially to Bodhi,
"I am watching Z play."  

"I am chopping carrots.  

Feel the smooth hard skin and knife as it pushes through.  

Listen to the knife hit the board.  

Watch them fall.  

Smell the earthy fresh fragrance of newly pulled carrots.  

It tastes so good.  

Want one?"  

"We're walking upstairs.
Let's change your diaper.

I'm laying you down.  

I'm taking your diaper off.  

I am putting on a new diaper.  

Let's go back downstairs."

The funny thing is I learned mostly from talking to the boys.  

I always try to describe the world to Bodhi, as I did Z when he was a babe.  

I still have to help Z find the words or notice his feelings.

It helps me just as much as them.

It helps me not make the situation more than it is, as I often can.
It helps me to not focus on what I don't need to be doing or thinking about.

It's funny how often I find myself noticing so many feelings and extraneous thoughts.

It feels good when I give my full attention, which is giving all my love.
It's the best gift I have.