Morning Intentions

This melts me.  He snuggled his brother as I grabbed the camera.

In addition to a gratitude journal practice I recently began a morning intention practice.   I am grateful to be inspired by the lovely Hannah Marcotti, and especially this post.

Every start is different.  Sometimes they come right away, and sometimes a while after we've been up.  Some come from things that happened the day before, some from my journal, some from the morning mood, both the boys and mine, but all of them from my heart.

I also love capturing our Starting Moments over at Instagram (#startingmoments).  Another fun thing inspired by Hannah.

I really enjoy this little ritual and the boys love taking pictures and hearing how much I love them, so it's win-win.

Peace.

Seeing himself

Starting (after my huge cup of warm honey-lemon water).

I recommend sitting with this idea and seeing if it resonates with you as well.  It's definitely a game changer.

Here are some of my first morning intentions.:

☆Love everyone as they are, not as I sometimes want them to be. 

Be kinder than necessary. Stop more often.☆

☆Pick your battles. Let go.☆

☆Just be present and give your attention to that which is in front of you. 

Lay down your needless worries.☆

☆I know that breakups can be painful. 

But me, perfection and insecurity just aren't meant to be. 

Continue to loosen up.☆

☆Let the day unravel at its own pace, and go with the flow. 

Release any expectations and worries as they arise.☆

☆Stop when my name is called. 

Stop even when it isn't.☆

☆Have fun.☆

☆Don't ever forget that being the change is more important than talking about the change.☆

A Mantra from My Heart

As I lay Bodhi or Z to sleep sometimes I find myself crying.  Sometimes out of frustration, anger, or exhaustion, but often out of love.

It's so easy to get frustrated at bedtime.  It's like the final homestretch to unwinding from your twelve to fourteen hour day (more or less).

Some nights I lay with Bodhi for an hour, or more.  It's not that often, but the average is fifteen to thirty minutes.  Same with Z.

Some people think I'm nuts.  That's okay.

The truth is, really, I love bedtime.  It's a sacred time between mama and babe.  Special one-on-one time with each babe at the end of the day, where special moments happen.  When I'm willing to surrender.  You learn a lot about one another, and how each of you saw the day.  We cuddle and love, and I read, sing, and tickle them, until they fall asleep.  Sometimes I fall asleep too.

But there have been nights where bedtime, with both boys, has lasted over two hours.  It's when I start thinking -I'm done.  I am so done.  Please.  Please fall asleep.

Then one night, I lay there so frustrated, not wanting to get angry, and my heart whispered to me...

You teach me to be humble.
You teach me to surrender.
You teach me unconditional love.
Thank you.  Love.  

I cannot tell you how often these simple words have centered me, and saved us.

It is good to remember, any time any of those anxiety producing feelings arise.  It stops me.  Sometimes it brings me to tears.

It reminds me of just how precious and amazing they are, and what this moment can be, if I only let it.

Really, every moment is.

Thank you, Maezen, for showing me, that my life is my practice.

This Moment

(A gift)

{these moments} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  Inspired by SouleMama.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Angry

When you are angry, try acting opposite to the immediate normal reaction that you might want to unleash.

The one that you are pretty sure doesn't work because the results often aren't pretty at all.

The not constructive anger.

The angry anger.

The one that you sometimes hold in to let simmer.  Sometimes simmering makes you sick.

So do the opposite.  Do something nice.

I promise you will be pleasantly surprised.

I have found that it often makes me feel better.

Who knew?

P.S.  It's not the me feeling better that means the most, it's everyone feeling better, because we're all in this together.

This Moment

This boy learned to ride the big bike in less than ten minutes yesterday.

{these moments} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  Inspired by SouleMama.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

To-Do List

My to-do list has a few interesting items tucked away in it.

These are very important activities that I can't pass up.

I don't want to forget them, in the midst of every other "important" thing I have to do.

Play.

Rest.

Sit down.

Meditate.

Drink water.

Sleep.

Stop worrying.

Look around, pause, take it in.

Say, "I love you."

Relax.

Go outside.

Make something.

Stop.

Now doesn't that feel better?

Dear Facebook, and Virtual Universe

And some days I'm only half my size

And some days I'm ten feet kneelin'

And some days I'm the owner of this city

And some days I get caught steelin'

Donovan Frankenreiter

Dear Facebook Family and Virtual Universe,

I've been thinking a lot about my energy.

How it flows inside me and out.

As I left acupuncture this morning I thought about how I am responsible for how my energy flows, within myself, and out in the world.  I thought about how maintaining it isn't always easy, but it's so important that I am aware of it, and where and how I choose to let it flow, because I believe we always have a choice.

There are so many ways we look at and describe our energy - meridians, chakras, auras, moods, physiological responses, etc.  Most days, for the most part, my energy and thoughts are constructive, and happy, peaceful, loving, and flowing like a clean river, but some days it's more stagnant, frustrated, angry, and/or toxic.  I am usually aware of either of these, and I am not one for extremes, but I prefer extreme love and peace to anything else, but as we all know, it's not always that way.  My energy and moods ebb and flow.

I try to share more of the "good" than the "bad", but I want to always share the truth, and experience, and that which I feel can help everyone, including me.  Forgive me if I have trespassed against this promise.

Sitting my butt on the cushion is still the best medicine I know.

Acupuncture is pretty dang awesome too.

I guess where I am going with this is that I have been thinking about my energy in virtual spaces.  I feel connected to one another, but would be more happy to see you face to face, and our eyes meet and we hug and talk, smile, laugh, cry and come together.  But that's not always possible.  But what is possible, is how I choose to share my energy here.

Sometimes I need some space holding and love, and I am grateful for you to help me.  I really feel you.  Words can be powerful.  Sometimes I feel that I have love to share and somehow that seems more complicated.

"Am I sharing too much?  Am I interjecting too much opinion?  I want to share my experience and relate to you, but I don't want to put words in your mouth, or make it seem as if I think I am right.  There is no one way."

I want my love and presence to be felt, really felt.  So sometimes I click "like" or give a <3 or a few simple words to let you know "I'm here for you.  I love you."  Sometimes I go off and type a whole paragraph or two, hit enter, and think, "Was that what I need to say?  Does that help or make something better?"

I hope I have never over-offered my opinion where it is not wanted or needed, but in reality, I am sure I have, I know I have.  That is something I am really really working on -what words I choose, the time I choose them, and what energy is attached to them.

I am always learning.  I am always brining in new vocabulary, and letting other things go, and I have also found that shapes how I interact.

I just want you to know that I really love this space, and there are a lot of different people, and sometimes it feels a bit noisy, but it still feels rather homey.  I want to be responsible for the energy I bring.  I'm letting my guard down and being vulnerable right now.

I could say more, I could say less, but here's my heart on the line.

This is simply how I feel about me, and I wanted to share my thoughts.

I hope you still love me no matter what, because I still love you.


ALL MY LOVE,
Nichole

P.S. Penny for your thoughts?

The Ocean

Last night I dreamed

of standing alone, 

at the edge of the Ocean.

The Sun had just set,

and the Sky was painted, 

deep periwinkle with a hint of lavender.

The crescent Moon shone high above

the endless horizon.

The Waters stretched into eternity.

Stars glittered above,

each one the seed of a promise.

The spray of the Ocean filled my soul,

and I lingered, as we merged.

The Beach was covered in sacred jewels,

stones, shells and grains of sand,

dimmed under the light of the Moon

but each one a color of the Rainbow.

I moved forward as the Waves touched my feet.

The blessing of Holy Waters.

I knew in that moment

that everything is possible,

I am right where I need to be.

Sitting in the ebb and flow.

Merged with eternity.

Here.

Now. 

Forever.

The Onion

Tend.
Grow.
Choose.
What else?
Peel.
Chop.
Cry.
Boil.
Simmer.

Set a timer.

Return to find a symphony of love.
The one you created.
The one you loved tenderly.
The one you dreamed of.
Season it or don't.
Maybe I will.
Maybe you won't.

Now let's sit, and feast.

You Know the Kind of Plans

You know the kind of plans.
The ones that spring forth
in the heat of an argument.
Burning desires
unleashed,
unburdened,
set forth
among the questions of
"What the fuck are we doing?"
and "Are we holding up our own end?"
What end?
We don't know.
We never know.
We just do,
and do,
and do,
and do.

You know the kind of deal.
The one we circle around.
The one unwritten,
unsigned,
unexamined,
invisible,
with no liberty or justice for all kind.
The one meant to be
unbroken,
re-written,
and written,
and written,
and written.

A guide through shaky waters,
torrents,
and currents.
The life boat
that doesn't exist
because you're always treading,
and needing,
and grasping.

Why don't you stop a while?
Float.
Breathe.
Slow down,
and look around
at the endless expanse
of what you'll never know,
and always know.

The life.

You know the kind of life.
The life that is yours.
The life that is mine.
The life that is ours.
The life
that we love.
Together.

More and Less

Over the last few weeks I have written down things that I would like to focus more deeply on.

These are things I already do.  It's not really that new.  It's things that I can do more of, once I let the things that matter less slip further away.

It's all about making space and sending my intentions out into the universe, and holding myself more accountable.

It's about deepening my connection to what matters most -my children, family, friends and community.

It's about not wasting my time, your time, our time.

So, in no particular order, without further ado...

MORE: 

Being present, and giving my full attention.
Butt on the cushion.
Making art.
Journaling.
Writing.
Poetry.
Letters.  The real kind.
Thank-yous.
Connections and gatherings.
Giving.
Gardening.

Nature.

Cooking and baking.
Reading.  New things.  More stories.  More poetry.
Letting go.  This is so wide, and means so much, on so many levels.
Focus on wellness and holistic living, herbalism, and essential oils.
Better sleeping habits.
Photography.
Using my senses.
Honesty and vulnerability.
Focusing on our goals (more on this later).
Trust.
Courage.
Compassion & self-compassion.
Using my hands.


LESS: 

Online time and technology -putting the laptop and phone down way more often.
Talking and giving opinions.
Staying up late.
Comparing.
Worrying.
Clutter.
Busyness.
Idleness.
Excuses.
Yelling.
Anger.
Complaining.  Especially without action or solution.
Accumulating unnecessary things.

So here I go.

Out of my heart, listed in my journal, and into the universe.  Again.

What about you?