Friday, November 25, 2011

This Moment


{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  Inspired by SouleMama.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Gratitude

Everyday is a day of gratitude, as far as I'm concerned.  There are so many things to be grateful for my heart is overflowing with love and abundance just thinking about it.


I am grateful for my family, friends and critters.
Each and every one: past and present, near and far, here and gone.
I am grateful for my two children that mean the universe to me and humble me every day.
I am grateful for a husband that takes care of us, sacrifices, accepts me for who I am and have grown to be, and has been by my side through thick and thin for almost twelve years.
I am grateful for the strong women in my life that raised me to be who I am and taught me more than I will ever know, my Mom, Nana and Grandmother.  
I am grateful for the bond of unconditional love between us all.
I am grateful for every person that has ever crossed my path.  
Each one is a teacher that has brought a lesson about myself and the world to my heart; whether I wanted to learn it or not.  Sometimes the lessons we don't want or think we need are the ones we need the most.
I am grateful for Zen practice that makes me aware of the flame dancing upon my head.
I am grateful for Maezen, who has given me the gift of love, attention, teaching and practice.
Although I am not formally her student, she is my teacher in so many ways.
I am grateful for Momma Zen, written by Maezen.  
It has opened my heart and eyes and helps me to trust myself and be more patient than I ever imagined.
I am grateful for the Zen teachers and students I have met in Austin, although I have not sat with them in so long.
I am grateful for the times when I notice my frustration and anger and am able to sit with it.
I am grateful for the times when I express my frustration and anger then have the courage to say "I'm sorry", sooner rather than later.  And mean it wholeheartedly. 
I am also grateful for fear, for it teaches me how to go beyond and be fearless.
I am grateful for strength.
I am grateful for every experienced in my life.  The stuff that makes me happy and even the stuff that pisses me off.
I am grateful for the roof over my head, car that gets me where I'm going and things that make my life easier, prettier and nicer.   
I am also grateful for the things I don't have that also makes my life less complicated.
I am grateful for health and wellness. 
I am grateful for healthy food that I am able to nourish my family with. 
I am grateful for sunshine and rain.
I am grateful for Austin, Texas and every person that makes this a beautiful and friendly city.
I am grateful for the love and abundance that surrounds me in so many forms and ways.
I am grateful that each moment is new and a chance to start again.
I am grateful for my life.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Joy Pockets


Bodhi's first big hike at a nearby state park.


Park visits with Mama friends and kiddos.
♥
Mama's birthday!
♥
Flowers delivered cute little boys and Daddy.
♥
A pineapple upside down cake delivered right on time by Dad.
Dinner planned for Sunday.
♥
A birthday call from Mom, right at 9:59 a.m.
 ♥
Butterfly Kisses.
♥
New jeans from Mom and a beautiful collage.  
I haven't bought new (non-maternity) jeans in two years!

♥
Super comfy new Pumas for Z.
♥
Birthday dinner cooked by mom.
Delicious enchiladas similar to my Nana's and a perfect carrot cake.


Love, love, love, gratitude, and more love.

joy pockets

I ♥ Joy Pockets.
Thank you, Holistic Mama.



Friday, November 18, 2011

Hold My Tongue

We had fun at the park, as usual.  I met a friend and we sat with our babies as Z ran around in the cool November weather making friends and horsing around.

We observed all the kids' and parents' interactions and discussed all sorts of stuff.  People fascinate me.  I absolutely adore seeing the relationships parents have with their kids.  One topic was how awesome and neat it is that each and every family, mother and child is different.  To each his own!

I cross each bridge as I come to it and I have no method or formula.  Every interaction is different.  I'm not right.  I'm not wrong.  I have no answers.  I have no advice.  I have experiences to share.  We all do.

Eventually, my friend left and I cuddled Bodhi and watched Z play.

Then it got weird.

Two Mamas had already corralled their kids, about the same age as Z, from Z and his two rough and older silly friends, a brother and sister.  More than once.  A few other kids joined in and out of the silliness.  Mainly chasing, a little pushing and standing their ground.  No one had been hurt.  No one was upset.  They were being kids.

Sometimes Z seems to be rougher than other kids but sometimes it's the other way around.  I say let the kids work it out unless someone is seriously upset or hurt.  If I see Z being clearly and unnecessarily rough, especially to smaller kids, I'll say something to him.  I try and intuit if he needs me to step in.  He's very tough and independent and it takes a lot for him to run to Mama.  He's learning boundaries and who wants to be rough and who doesn't.

The Mamas kept looking at me and other parents disapprovingly.  They didn't seem to trust their kids to play alone and watched everything like a hawk.

Z played a lot with the brother and sister.  They played chase, were being silly and roughhousing but no one was hurt.  I let it be.  So did the other parents.

They ran off to the side and started throwing mulch while chasing each other and laughing.  No one else was in the way or upset.  Z looked at me and I shook my head side to side with a "watch it" look.  No one got it in the face or eyes.  No one cried.  Again, I let it be.

The other kids joined in.  The ones that aren't allowed to be rough or figure it out on their own.   They were intrigued and wanted in on the action!  The Mamas freaked out and went to get their kids away from the scene of the crime.

More distressed looks.  I felt lost about what to do, but no other parents were concerned.  The two upset Mamas were the only ones, well, upset.  Let it be.

Eventually, all the kids headed back to the playground and went up to the kids that weren't allowed to play rough.  Z and the other kids were highly energized and I saw one Mom get up.  The other kids ran off.   I got up and began to walk to Z, holding Bodhi to my chest.  She was clearly very upset and said something to Z.  I didn't hear it.

Z started to push one of the kids and went to throw mulch.    It all happened so fast.  Wrong kid, Z!

"GET AWAY FROM THOSE KIDS!  Don't play with those kids!!" she said to her son.

I said, "I'm sorry.  Z please don't be rough.  He doesn't want to play like that."

She huffed, "My kid isn't throwing mulch or being rough."

I replied, "I understand.  He's learning.  He's three."

Her face was red and she was breathless and angry.  "You think I don't know what it's like to have a three year old!!!!  He's three!!  And he's three!!!  I know what it's like to have a three year old!!"

"I'm sorry."  I walked away.

The heat had risen up into my throat.  That wasn't what I wanted to say.  There were so many things I wanted to say.  I wanted to tell her she was being a bitch and I think kids should be allowed to figure out the world.  And a few other choice things.  I held my tongue and composure. 

My kids depend on me to be the calm in the storm.  I try.  I try hard.  Actually, I think Yoda has it right, "Do or do not.  There is no try."

I sat down and looked around.  Other Mamas and Daddies were smiling at me like "Wow, that just happened?  Sorry it was you."   I glanced over at her to see if she had calmed down.  Both Mamas were shooting daggers at me and the parents of the brother and sister through their eyes.  She was furious.  To her, we were clearly wrong.  They were right.  Our kids were bad.  Their kids were good.

It was just plain weird.  The line had been crossed.  I decided it was time to go.  And let it go.

Ever had an experience like that?
What do you think of roughhousing or letting kids work it out?
Where do you draw the line?










This Moment


Mama's birthday cake
Two special moments because it's a birthday week!


{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  Inspired by SouleMama.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wash Your Bowl


This is my life.  This is your life.  This is life.  That is all.

A monk said to Joshu, "I have just entered this monastery. Please teach me."
"Have you eaten your rice porridge?" asked Joshu.
"Yes, I have," replied the monk.
"Then you had better wash your bowl," said Joshu.
With this the monk gained insight.


Thursday, November 10, 2011

This Moment


{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.  Inspired by SouleMama.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.