We say, "A good father is not a good father."
Do you understand?
One who thinks he is a good father is not a good father;
one who thinks he is not a good husband is not a good husband.
One who thinks he is one of the worst husbands
may be a good husband with a single-hearted effort.
Suzuki Roshi, Zen Mind, Beginner Mind
I remember the first time I read these words. I immediately got defensive. A hundred different defensive replies came to mind.
So many thoughts.
After I was done justifying myself, after every ounce of excuse ran out, I stopped, and smiled.