“In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert's mind there are few”.
I never really got this until we had our first son (little boy number two is due in July). Every single moment he opens my eyes and helps me see that everything is new moment to moment and there isn't always a "right" way to do something. You don't have to have a goal or fixed plan every time you set out to do something -just the experience is enough.
Every time I experience something with Z, I see the wonder in his heart and it opens me a little more each time. I release my expectations and go with the flow (yes, of course, I have to remind myself over and over, but that's part of the journey). We may hear the same song 100 times but every time is the first. We may paint a picture but every one we begin anew. We may go to the same park but each visit is different. We may take a bath but every time there are new possibilities and things to discover and play with. Everything we do it's a first time for him again because every moment is new and he has no idea that he's supposed to be doing anything but be immersed in the experience.
I am so grateful that Z teaches me so much. He helps me to realize that I have the ability to change the way I see things even if I can't change the things I see. We all do.
I am also eternally grateful to Karen Maezen Miller, author of Momma Zen. I found her book a few months into my pregnancy with Z and soon after peeked within. I could hardly put it down. In fact, I still crack it open and have read it again, cover-to-cover, since being pregnant again. Her perfect words spring forth like renewed water from an everlasting spring that all us mamas have access to, especially when we open up our minds and hearts. Through tears and smiles she helped open me a little more and realize my beginner's mind. I have it in me to be a mama, all on my own, without all the expert's advice. She helped me to trust myself more and let go of most of my expectations and worries. I didn't hardly touch other books about mamahood and pregnancy because somehow I began to trust myself and recognize my beginner's mind. We all have it, especially us mamas.